28 8 / 2014
this website’s attitude toward gender non-conforming children and it’s universal insistence that boys who wear skirts aren’t really boys and girls who like short hair and non-feminine colors aren’t really girls is SO primitive and harmful.
how is ~othering~ children who don’t meet your performance standards for their sex NOT reinforcing oppressive patriarchal gender roles and expectations?
28 8 / 2014
Does anyone with any legal background know what obligation a private college is under to accommodate a documented disability?
It is housing accommodations that I know is feasible to fulfill with a simple room swap, but they keep huffing and puffing and saying it is not their protocol to do so.
27 8 / 2014
Anonymous said: May I ask something? I saw your post on being critical of femininity and it made me think and ultimately agree with it, though I have to ask whether this means femininity is 'bad'? Or only bad in our current context, so its counterproductive to be? As well as, if there is a rejection of femininity, then what would be the 'good' behavior? Not the opposite, masculinity?; or it would simply be neutral? I'm really sorry if I was disrespectful; I'm curious and I'm trying to learn. Thank you.
It’s really complicated. Because femininity IS “bad” in the sense that while both femininity and masculinity are culturally based systems of expected and acceptable behavior for a given sex, only femininity is EXPLICITLY designed to be a hindrance. Perfect make-up takes time, pushing out other things (work, hobbies) you could do with that time, things like dressed and heels often hinder both movement and comfort, and good feminine behavior is demure and focuses on taking up very little space/being unassuming/never speaking out. This is not powerful, and the spin of choice doesn’t make it so.
That’s not to say that women who do and wear feminine things because they like to are bad people. It does mean that femininity as it’s currently constructed doesn’t grant anyone true power in this world, so claims that preforming femininity and “reclaiming” it is empowering have no basis in reality. A woman might feel empowered by being feminine because there is currently a structured reward system in place for females that preform (to the determent of women who do not) but to claim empowerment requires ignoring that inherent in the nature of femininity is showcasing a LACK of power. Also, both preforming and not preforming is detrimental because the performance itself is a punishment, but choosing not to preform is socially punished. (People mistrust, ridicule and put less faith in unfeminine women)
What we have to reject is that the feminine (or masculine, for that matter) construction is natural to anyone. Choice based politics around feminism judge the acceptableness of an action by whether or not it was chosen, but doesn’t considered the everyday forces that coerce our choices.
When there is no longer a social punishment for women being unfeminine (That’s to say when we no longer force a cherry-picked selection of hindering behavior on women and call it the best possible expression of our sex) then an individual woman choosing to be feminine becomes less of a cultural issue effecting everyone, and more of a personal one. But we aren’t even close to there yet.
25 8 / 2014
Anonymous said: I'm 16 and I don't shave my legs (by my choice) and I want to wear a skirt to school tomorrow but I'm scared I'll get bullied. Advice?
WEAR THAT SKIRT
WORK THAT SKIRT
STROKE YOUR LEG HAIR SEDUCTIVELY
ANYONE WHO SAYS YOU ARE LESS THAN FABULOUS IS INTIMIDATED BY YOUR UNIQUENESS AND CONFIDENCE
ANYONE WHO GIVES YOU A FUNNY LOOK IS AFRAID OF ANYTHING THAT DOESN’T ADHERE TO SOCIAL NORMS
DO IT FOR THE WOMEN WHO FOUGHT FOR THEIR RIGHT TO VOTE
DO IT FOR THE WOMEN WHO FOUGHT FOR THEIR RIGHT TO OWN PROPERTY
DO IT FOR THE WOMEN WHO BURNT THEIR BRAS SO YOU COULD WEAR A SKIRT WITHOUT HAVING TO SHAVE YOUR LEGS
YOU ARE A HUMAN, NOT JUST A GIRL WHO SHOULD BE PRETTY AND SHINY AND SQUEAKY CLEAN AND HAIRLESS
YOU ARE ENTITLED TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH YOUR LEG HAIR
YOU GO GLEN COCO
I don’t shave my legs and I wore shorts and skirts all summer and received no comments.
As for whether people will say anything, it depends on whether kids at your school are assholes or not. If they make a comment, ask “Why? Why is my leg hair any grosser than Joe’s? Why is female body hair some grotesque abomination and male body hair is not?”
25 8 / 2014
"A boy may be as disagreeable as he pleases, but when a girl refuses to crap sunshine on command, the world mutters darkly about her moods."